Echoes of the Past: A Journey Through Healing Emotional Scars

It’s another night and I’m in my feelings

In my bed staring up at the ceiling, I can’t help but reflect on the multitude of emotions swirling within me.

I’ve been here a thousand times, yet a million more to come, trapped in this endless cycle of introspection and doubt.

Sometimes I just wish I could go numb, escape from the weight of my worries and insecurities.

With all my insecurities, I see why people don’t want to be around me; it’s an exhausting experience, both for myself and for others who try to connect.

I resent myself for being this way, for pushing people away when I long for their company.

But everyone always says tomorrow is a new day, a reminder that change is possible, yet it feels so distant.

When people do start to get close to me, I’ll find anything to say or do for us not to be, fearing the intimacy that comes with vulnerability.

I want to be alone and at the same time I don’t, grappling with this internal conflict that seems to be never-ending.

This constant battle within myself is an untold cyclone, a tempest of emotions that I can’t seem to calm.

The monsters in my closet don’t compare to the ones in my head, as the thoughts I battle daily are far more daunting than any outside fear.

Now I’m asking myself the very question Chester asked, “Why is everything so heavy?”

I don’t know who I am anymore; then again, I never did, lost in the labyrinth of my own mind.

I feel so lost; I guess you can say I’m off-grid, disconnected from the essence of who I could be.

Everything around me is moving so rapidly, while I’m stuck in place, paralyzed by my own thoughts.

I’m losing my sanity, sadly, as the noise in my head grows louder, drowning out any semblance of peace.

How can I find something that I never possessed? The clarity, the contentment, the joy—these feel like elusive dreams.

I just wish this depression would go find another obsession, leaving me free to explore the light instead of being consumed by the dark.